The three things I learned today

You would think that a day specifically focused on rest and relaxation would breed nothing but laziness. I am here to assure you that is not true. Today, in my various stages of recuperation, I was a witness to three tidbits of information. Before I subject you to a semi-lengthy blog, let me warn you, none of these are really important factoids. I don't want any false advertising going on here, so don't think I am about to let you in on a secret on how to split atoms or something. I simply want to share with you my amazement with regard to the three T's: Turkey, TV, and Ties.

#1 Turkey- I was checking my email this morning when I received this from the fiancee. I couldn't stop laughing. At first, I wondered if I was related to any of the people who called in. Then, I thought to myself, "Wasn't it just last week the fiancee and I couldn't get a nail we had hammered in out of the wall so we tried using pliers to shimmy it out?" There must be someone out there who thinks that is ridiculous. Still, I think wrapping a turkey in a towel and stomping on it to get it in a pot is probably one of the most hilarious sites I can envision. I can tell you that it would be at the point I realized the leg wouldn't fit, I would be dragging everyone down to KFC. Who can tell the difference anyway, right? This email I received prompted me to visit the Butterball website, which in turn prompted me to look at the FAQ's. Needless to say, some of the questions posed on the FAQ site just read really funny. A cheap laugh--that's what I got. I suggest you also have a look.

#2 TV- I watched my DVR'd Saturday Night Live tonight from this past Saturday. It has been a while since I watched the entire show. Typically, I either fall asleep or well, there isn't really an alternative. I am usually asleep. So this week we recorded it and I decided I needed to get back into SNL habit. I don't know what has changed in the past year or so but suddenly, it has become perfectly appropriate to say things I would never imagine on TV. This caught me off guard. I literally found myself laughing in hysterics and then stopping suddenly because I was so shocked that these things were actually being said on TV. Maybe I am nuts. Maybe the world is moving and I am not moving along with it. I realize that we are a society that allows for more sex and provocitiveness, language and violence than ever before. But, I was completely taken back at jokes about abortions and certain sexual innuendos. This could be a whole blog in itself. However, I will keep it brief and just mention it as something that completely blew my mind. A show that popularized itself because of the humor created around the ability to insinuate jokes rather than forwardly state them is now blatantly over using it's media power to provide comedic relief in a obtrusive way (in my opinion). Though I laughed my ass off for most of the show, I am left with those few jokes that really offended me and I wonder when will it be too much?

#3 Ties- As I ironed the fiancee's shirts tonight, I had the pleasure of going through the tie collection. I have been witness to the funny ties, the sport ties, the dress ties, and the hideous ties before. However, tonight I actually got my hands on all of them and realized that no person should have ever spent money on some of these ties. Now I realize that a long time ago, perhaps in 1992, a certain look may have been popular. But now that the time has passed, can't you pass the tie along to the dumpster? Why can't the fiancee let some ties go? As with clothing, there was a time for certain ties. Not all ties last forever. I can not begin to tell you the travesty that exists in this tie collection. I think one of them is actually designed to look like what comes up after my dog eats a bone and rice and it gets caught in his throat a little and he makes that "hhhcccckkk" sound. What scares me is that since the fiancee leaves before I do in the morning, and since he obviously doesn't feel the need to discard of these ties, the potential that they could make an appearance around his neck at any point in time IN PUBLIC, could potentially occur. Please, for the sake of us all, say your final good-byes to the ties. Ties are part of a wardrobe--they should be updated as such.

There you have it-the three T's that surprised me today. Not an overly important day but one that had some merit. Also this: my love for U2 was reinforced after watching SNL. The new album drops tomorrow and I can't wait. Turkey day is only 3 days away. Gobble gobble.