Mainly good times in Maine
This past weekend the fiancee and I, along with the plumber and the girlfriend and another couple went to Kennebunkport, Maine. Not to hang with the ex-Pres or anything but for a fun, pre-fall getaway. A fine state if I do say so myself. We stayed in a newly renovated house that was all of 30 feet from the beach. Out the back door and there we were...our toes ever-so-nicely nestled in the sand.
It was a fun little getaway from the Nutmeg state. One which did not require too much thinking, which I am a huge fan of these days, and that required a large amount of drinking, which I am usually not a fan of these days. In any event, these are the Top 10 things I learned during this quick getaway weekend:
10. Owning a BMW means having access to electricity even when the rest of the area may not have it. Traveling places with an extension cord and a 15V cigarette lighter converter means you can be the only house on the block with light. But why? Turn the lights off anyway...it's much more fun.
9. If you should happen to "bite it" while playing touch football on the beach, make sure you close your mouth when you go down, especially while laughing hysterically. A mouth full of Maine sand does NOT taste any better than your own state's.
8. Always line the seat with a towel before riding long distances with the plumber. That way, you will be sure your ass does not adhere to the seat, much like a plunger does, when it puckers during the ride to and fro.
7. Jamaican rum is much like maple syrup. Eventually it will come out of the bottle. Just be patient. However, it tastes much like cough syrup.
6. You know, sometimes a talking GPS system can be almost as fun as soft porn. "Softer, softer, softer." Nah, you're right. Maybe not.
5. You are never too old to play Asshole. In fact, I think I finally understand it. And since when was it such a BAD thing to be the Asshole?
4. S'mores were definitely meant to be eaten with the lights off. No explanation needed.
3. Drunk people should not be allowed to sleep on the top of buy-bunkbeds. Getting up there is just too risky. A task that should only take 20 seconds somehow becomes attempt 3,4 and 5. How the hell did we survive college? Isn't this just a trap for your bu-bunkmate to get a cheap laugh? Bastards.
2. One person wearing a lobster bib is dorky. 6 people wearing lobster bibs is kinda hot. I think they are definitely coming in. Look out In-Style magazine. Lobster bibs complete the outfit. Only if they have butter dripping down them though.
1. 4 people+1 BMW+Luggage enough for 2 weeks+Kittery, ME outlets=U-HAUL
It was a fun little getaway from the Nutmeg state. One which did not require too much thinking, which I am a huge fan of these days, and that required a large amount of drinking, which I am usually not a fan of these days. In any event, these are the Top 10 things I learned during this quick getaway weekend:
10. Owning a BMW means having access to electricity even when the rest of the area may not have it. Traveling places with an extension cord and a 15V cigarette lighter converter means you can be the only house on the block with light. But why? Turn the lights off anyway...it's much more fun.
9. If you should happen to "bite it" while playing touch football on the beach, make sure you close your mouth when you go down, especially while laughing hysterically. A mouth full of Maine sand does NOT taste any better than your own state's.
8. Always line the seat with a towel before riding long distances with the plumber. That way, you will be sure your ass does not adhere to the seat, much like a plunger does, when it puckers during the ride to and fro.
7. Jamaican rum is much like maple syrup. Eventually it will come out of the bottle. Just be patient. However, it tastes much like cough syrup.
6. You know, sometimes a talking GPS system can be almost as fun as soft porn. "Softer, softer, softer." Nah, you're right. Maybe not.
5. You are never too old to play Asshole. In fact, I think I finally understand it. And since when was it such a BAD thing to be the Asshole?
4. S'mores were definitely meant to be eaten with the lights off. No explanation needed.
3. Drunk people should not be allowed to sleep on the top of buy-bunkbeds. Getting up there is just too risky. A task that should only take 20 seconds somehow becomes attempt 3,4 and 5. How the hell did we survive college? Isn't this just a trap for your bu-bunkmate to get a cheap laugh? Bastards.
2. One person wearing a lobster bib is dorky. 6 people wearing lobster bibs is kinda hot. I think they are definitely coming in. Look out In-Style magazine. Lobster bibs complete the outfit. Only if they have butter dripping down them though.
1. 4 people+1 BMW+Luggage enough for 2 weeks+Kittery, ME outlets=U-HAUL
EXTRA EXTRA-quotes heard over the weekend:
"What A Dump!"
"Don't touch that! It's a Humpback Whale!"
"Softer, softer, softer"
"I like it rough, in bed"
"That's a yellow mustang"
posted by Nif | 8:56 PM
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